Monday, February 19, 2007

The Ongoing Definitive List of Reasons Why I am Retarded

Additions for 19 February 2007:

1. I thought that the plural of le chat was les chattes (like lattes only cats).

2. I once had a plan for world peace, but traded it for a bucket of fried chicken (dam, I love the Colonel).

3. I prefer to spell "damn" without the "n", and when questioned about this I say that, yes, I meant "dam", as in what beavers build. Then, I laugh because I said beaver.

4. I've been using "lol" in everyday conversations.

5. I still have a MySpace account.


le bruce bruce said...

Ah, yes - you may be retarded - but at least when you are sitting on the shitter you can look at your wrist watch and know what time it is in Boston.

I fart you.

Lord Fondleberries said...

and what time is it in boston, my doubly retarded, doubly gay friend? hmmm?

i farted you first. it was a sbd.

lord f

Flounder 2k7 said...

Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

He puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly!

Rob said...

The Colonel was a staunch Republican. And he fucked his genegeneered chickens with his squirrely Republican dick every night. That is why I won't eat there. I also won't step foot inside the Christofascist Chik-fil-A, where the employees have Sundays off to gird up their loins and fellate a priest.

Rob said...

It is days like this that make me wish there were an emoticon of a crippled nun getting a dirty sanchez.

Lord Fondleberries said...

rob: buck up little camper, we'll beat that slope together.

lord f

egan said...

I still have a MySpace account too. Um, be careful with the "chattes" thing. It could get you in a bit of hot water with the French speaking ladies. Meow.

grumblemurray said...

I love the comments in this blog almost more than the blog itself. And when I say "almost," I'm just being polite.

At risk of lowering the average hilarity of the comments on this post, I just wanted to say that I often have the urge to use "lol" in general conversation, and I feel warmed to know my tardedness has company.

Lord Fondleberries said...

flounder: i'm not sure what to do with your new and improved happiness. i may need to chow some colonel and poop on your blog.

rob: i assume the priest will be providing the dirty sanchez. also, we use "republicunt" at this blog.

egan: i am allergic to french speaking women.

grumblepants: you could not be more right, this blog blows. but, i live for your comments and were it not for said blowing, you would not have left comments. perhaps you might benefit from a dirty sanchez or a squirting fish taco.

lord f