"I fucking hate you"
"Argyle is the new black"
"Hugs and mittens"
"Looks like (or sounds like) someone woke up on the wrong side of 'I'm an asshole' this morning"
If I see any of these "out there", I'll be expecting my royalty check.
Update (as of 319 PM EST---thanks bunny):
"Dude! You're Gay!" (exclamation points required. If I see "Dude, you're gay", I'll let it slide, as there simply is no pizazz without punctuation.)