Sunday, January 14, 2007

Blogtarded

I realized this morning that it's time for me to stop ignoring the fact that I'm about as smart as a retarded hamster.

This a-ha moment didn't occur after I got shocked trying to remove my English muffin from the toaster with a fork. Or, after I rather pissed-offedly said why the fuck is my birthday going to be on November 23rd again. Rather, this realization occurred when I signed up on Blogroll and tried to publish a link list on my Blog.

Apparently my Blog is so cool that I'm making new fake internet friends almost daily. Yay me! I've been reading their Blogs and posting comments, and they've been reading mine and also leaving comments. It's fun. It's exciting. It must be that whole internet revolution thing that I saw an add on the tv for.

In reviewing my fellow Blogger's sites, I noticed that many of them have a link to something called "Blogroll" either above or below their lists of links. I figured I'd check this out and see if it could help me manage my now expanding link list.

I surfed on over to Blogroll and signed up for an account (it's free, otherwise my half-Jewishness would have prevented me from signing up). I then filled in the required information, including adding links to and names of the Blogs I want to appear in my link list. I followed the steps to get the code to embed in my Blog the soon-to-be-Blogroll-managed list. And poof. Not a fucking thing. Except a lone link to fucking Blogroll. It's right over there ---->

Now, I'm not the typical guy who refuses to ask for directions when I'm hopelessly lost. In fact, I've been known to break down and cry when I can't figure out where I am or how the hell I got there. Accordingly, I read Blogroll's user support documentation. Then I started to drool. Uncontrollably. I can't within my retarded little brain fire the synapses that equate to how in the fuck to get this service to manage my link list.

So, if out of the corner of your eye you see me jumping up and down in a circle while pounding my chest and drooling, please stop by and tell me how to use Blogroll. Or at least get me a helmet.

Author's note: Please, if you're one of the myriad people I called a moron over the years, do not take this to be any form apology: I still fucking hate you.

4 comments:

Bottle Job Blonde said...

Heh heh heh

Pisser said...

I am just like you except with removing links. Half of mine are dead and the other half have turned into porn sites or similar.

Bottle Job Blonde said...

Hey Pisser, is that what happened with nongf and the Tuna of the Month Club?

;)

Bottle Job Blonde said...

Ya f'ed up over on the Gov. But oh well. Maybe you'll get "internet bullied" here by EdGaR or however the hell he spells his name.

I think I love you.

(smack)
BJB