Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sunday and Not Drinking?

Sunday. Again. Online. Again. But I don't feel the usual shitty.

My skin is slightly pink. Eyes: wide open. Hands: no shakes. Breath: toothpaste fresh. And what the hell is this feeling of awakeness?

Sitting here at the desk, typing, I closed my eyes for a brief moment and all the things I think I could accomplish flashed before me. There I am vacuuming. And singing. And there I am grocery shopping: chicken, vegetables, milk . . . milk for fuck's sake. On the senate floor: "Mister President, end this war." Oh, there I am in a field, twirling, arms spread wide to the sides. "The hills are alive with the sound of I'm not hung over."

What the hell is all of this energy? Is this how people who can handle their alcohol consumption and set three-drink limits feel? Is it how people who get more than two hours of sleep each night feel? I'm frightened.

How the hell did this happen? We did go out last night. We did see Dane's jazz quartet. I did embibe. But I only had two drinks. I wasn't sloshed. I held no fewer than three conversations without slurring words or my eyes drifting apart. I drove home sober. I undressed and put my clothes away rather than in a pile on the floor; then I put on pajamas and got into bed.

And then something happened in Whoville that hadn't happened in seventeen years: this drunk grinch went to bed, and slept. For eight hours.

Now it's the next day, and I'm not hung over. What will I do with myself?

First, I'm off to get coffee. Then, who knows.

Perhaps I'll take up smoking.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Assmound

Lord Fondleberries said...

awww, thank sweety. i love you too.

lord f

le bruce bruce said...

You should invest in a coffee maker. Maybe then you could afford one of those brown folks to clean you house with all the money you'd save by not going to motherfucking Starbucks.

Asshole.

Lord Fondleberries said...

better yet, i should just suck it up and buy a brown person to clean my house and get my morning starbucks.

thanks for that le bruce bruce. now go fuck yourself. hard.

lord f

Uncle Roy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Uncle Roy said...

Why don't you get one of those genetically modified Guatamalans that can pee espresso on demand? The Ladino Cappucino 2000. Kill two birds with one stone, as it were.